Birthday Recollections

SOOOOO -
Lets seee... Yesterday was my 20th birthday. Whats the big deal about being 20? NOTHING.. besides the fact that I am no longer a teenager. I went to the Caterie to celebrate last night with my room mate Megan, and it was incredible until I couldnt function! hah! Mangled CRAZINESS! I mean I took pictures that I dont remember. I had so many drinks, I was gone- but im glad I went out! Wish that more people wouldve been there but whatever. LSU starts tom, hurricane Gustav on its way--- screwing up my photoshoots this weekend! I did get an AMAZING JOB day before my birthday and booked my plane ticket to North Carolina yesterday! I cant wait! I will be a photographer/sales lady at Portrait Innovations- within 3 months I can move up to management and travel and be relocated! how awesome! My grandma has been pretty quiet, but peaceful. I love her. ON A LAST THOUGHT- IM SO READY FOR SOME REV THEORY IN MY LIFE!

Oh Photos

So recently, Not only have I NOT written in forever, but I have been taking on a lot of photoshoots, and so BUSYY! Im currently jobless, because I quit the worst job in the world. OKAY- maybe not the worst, but deifnitly close. SO I have interviews this week, and Im hoping for the best. My mawmaw has been pretty sick ... and it makes me pretty upset, but I try to be positive because I still have her here and thats all that matters. Its just hard having to drive to the nursing home and see her, when we both want her to be home and going play bingo and just being with us. I mean ABUSE is just not acceptable to me.. and this makes me LIVID. Just crazyyyy how she went from this at HEALTH SOUTH:



TO THIS at Plaquemine Manor Nursing Home:


And now because of the above, can't really even get out of bed..
BUT shes stilllll the love of my heart, soul and my mind!


As far as my photoshoots, I have had incredible oppurtunites, and hope to eventually be able to work with everyone! I have done a more recent with the 13th gate Haunted House in baton Rouge LA, and this is a little slide show to view.


Anyway besides all of that, I will be heading to Dauphin Island Alabama, for my photoshoot weekend with some amazing photographers! Looking very forward to that!

School SUCKS, once again, but its actually not as bad as i expected!
Soooo good update. The end. HOLLLLLER at me on myspace:

She who DARES to stand where I STOOD.

Being a makeup artist has taught me so many things.. Skin, beauty, artistry.. but mostly i have come to realize that beauty comes within. One day i hope to be able to show the world they dont have to wear makeup to feel beautiful. That all of this learning and artistry doesn't have to be done, and just the beautiful design and skin that is already there is enough.

My PROPOSAL for all women worldwide:
I challenge you to take off the makeup for a week. GO EVERYWHERE without it. Let people see the REAL you, and not the made up character we assume ourselves to be in this everyday life. Take it off and say your not scared so silently. I believe this will help everyone to love REAL and love ourselves real!

Anyway besides the normal motivational I wish I was powerful speech.. heres a little motivational song i found and LOVE. Missy Higgins =]!

I don't know what i've done
Or if i like what i've begun
But something told me to run
And honey you know me it's all or none
There were sounds in my head
Little voices whispering
That i should go and this should end
Oh and i found my self listening

Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you
All i know is that i should
And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you
All i know is that i should
Cause she will love you more then i could
She who dares to stand where i stood

See i thought love was black and white
That it was wrong or it was right
But you aren't leaving without a fight
And i think i am just as torn inside

Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you
All i know is that i should
And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you
All i know is that i should
Cause she will love you more then i could
She who dares to stand where i stood

And I wont be far from where you are if ever you should call
You meant more to me then any one i've ever loved at all
But you taught me how to trust myself
And so i say to you, this is what i have to do.

Cause i don't know who i am, who i am without you
All i know is that i should
And i don't know if i could stand another hand upon you
All i know is that i should
Cause she will love you more then i could
She who dares to stand where i stood
She who dares to stand where i stood.

One Tree Hill.. LIFE thoughts

Ahh.. yay.. the OTH is back on! Thanks to my BF i wouldnt have caught it.. so thanks! As always.. OTH has always brought me life thoughts.. soo here it goes for Season Five Episode 1.

So.. at the end of the eipsodes they always have these LONG quotes that pertains to every characters life.. and this time it was made by Haley and seemed to throw a HUGE impact to me..

" The rest of your life is a long time, and whether or not you know it, its being shaped right now. You can choose to blame your circumstances on fate or bad luck or bad choices or you can fight back. Things aren’t always going to be fair in the real world. That’s just the way it is but for the most part you get what you give. Let me ask you a question… what’s worse- not getting everything you wished for or getting it but finding out it’s not enough? The rest of your life is being shaped right now with the dreams you chase, the choices you make, and the person you decide to be. The rest of your life is a long time and the rest of your life starts right now."


There was also a quote by Lucas at the beginning..

"Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday.Graduating high school saying goodbye.That feeling that you get at 17 or 18 that nobody in the history of the world has ever been this close.Has ever loved as fiecely or laughed as hard or cared as much.Sometimes it feels like it was yesterday .....and sometimes it feels like someone else's memory."

as far as this quote.. this class (theatre was the BEST time of my life. so heres a little memory!


Both of these quotes mean so much, and made me open my eyes to say "Hey, ya know.. stop sitting back and thinking, get up and OUT and DO!! I dont want to be like everyone else around here. I never have. Im different, all of us are. Some of a choose the EASY road and take jobs and people whom we dont really love. Others follow their dreams and GO! I dont want to be sitting behind a computer desk, or working at some retail store the rest of my life, I dont want to work at a plant, or anything else for that matter. I WANT TO BE MY DREAM! with that .. i can no longer be scared to LIVE, im 19 years old.. going to be 20 this year.. and I have no idea what im doing with my life right now. Just going from job to job, never loving, just playing, and not making commitments. I want to BE someone. I cant be SCARED of what it will feel like to make a new life with people ive never known, and without people ive known my whole life. I cant be scared that some things wont work, while the best things that are MEANT to be .. will. I cant be scared of what people will feel because even if im not with them physically, ill always be there in memory and in spirit. I cant be scared to LIVE on my own.

I have to go out and do this. And i have to get started NOW! I cant wait for the rest of my life to wonder what could have been. I dont want to turn 30 and think its too late without trying. I dont want to be settled into something i dont love at 30 and be stuck with it my whole life. I want to do something i love, with people ive never met before.. being the most wholesome and worthwhile person i can be, doing something that most people around here are AFRAID to do, because people tell him its impossible. NOTHING is impossible.. let me tell you. I will start my life. I will not be like everyone else. The scariest things are usually the most worthwhile... so catch those moments and SAVOR them while you can. Oppurtunites only come around once. Now is my time.

Thanks.
Jaci

part of me

So.. As many of you watched "A shot at love" with Tila Tequila.. and were very disappointed/ or HAPPY with the outcome of tila and bobbie... I thought i should write that they have broken up.. and while we all knew the thoughts of okay there is a second season, but WHO is going to be the bachlorette... Tila announced on the NEW YEARS MASQURADE that it was.. for sure.. her. I dont know if im competely EXCITED or upset that its her.. because shes very cute and spontaneous, but I hope this is for real, and that she really is looking for love, not just the fame game. ya know? Anywho.. more news on that coming shortly.

As for my life, ive been doing really well. Working, and finallyyy off of school for a WHILLEEE. =]. But i go back in like 2 weeks, so boo. Im hoping to get away from louisiana for a while.. whether it be here or there, or whatever.. I just need to get a way and start again, maybe then my love life will take shape... MAYBE?? haha. whatev bitches. LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE!

xox.
Jaci

Wow

its been a while. I have been really busy. Work has been steady, skating has been just about a daily thing. I had to start working out and weight lifting for that. But its fun. Im actually really addicted to it now. This week all sorts of projects were due for school, but i got those out of the way and done.. next week from mon-thurs. are finals. That should be interesting.

Christmas is right around the corner, and i have yet to get presents. I have no idea what to get. Seriously. I went shopping and cant really find anything that i love ya know?

I actually get rather bored at work. Hence why im doing this. =/. Ha . Maybe one day ill try to right something meaningful again.. theres just nothing really right now for me to write on.

My grandma is doing betterr for the time being, still not fully recovered but shes looking a lot better now a days. Thanks for the prayers! =]!

My love life= still inexistence. Im up for a date if anyones open! =]!

okay so

you know what i realized.. this is what im tryin to write about "having a lonely heart that you had to put all back together after hurting for so long that you just had to throw away memories and feelings of whatever was hurting you, so therefore you would be healed and can regain a trusting relationship with a significant other".. and i cant figure out how to begin. because basically im still trying to figure myself out and how to put myself back together. I mean, im completely over this person, and people whom have hurt me, but i dont know how to let go of the pain that they caused me.. and i think thats why i tend to be more on the shy end when it comes to a relationship because im scared to let someone back in, no matter how much i want it.. because god knows i need a relationship to start back up, im tired of being single! ya know? but its just like... blah! everytime i find someone, i just kinda shut myself off, because i am so scared to get hurt. seriously. that sucks. basically.

anyway on a good note... softball scrimiage was tonight, it was lovely! softball fall tourney this weekend, against like 5 teams or something! i am so excited... the only thing that frees all those feelings, softball! its like my home, my life, my love!

i think i get off at 10 am tom! yayyyyyyy!