awkwardness

You know how when most relationships start, how you have that "awkwardness" .. how nice is it to not have that ?! I mean seriously.. when you just connect with that person so much .. amazing. thats all.

Blog discoverings

so i was reading a blog today and came across this post..

"In the end it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about you. People are gonna forget you about 10 minutes after you die anyway. The point is you have to be exactly who and what you want to be. Most everybody's coasting along on phony public relations. People who say being beautiful or rich or thin makes them happy, people who are trying to make their marriages or their children seem better than they actually are. And for what? Appearances. Appearances don't count for diddly. When its all said and done, all that counts is what was true and truly felt and how we treated one another...and that's it.


-- its from a tv show... but i thought it pretty much says my life.. because you have to realzie that ITS WAHT YOU FEEL, not what others feel. and i know this, but i need to get over it. seriously.

School sucks. I hate it. Im so over this already. Im ready to start my new job!!!!


OMG MANDY MOORE AT THE HOUSE OF BLUES IN NEW ORLEANS SEPTEMBER 2nd! we are alreadyy there.

living in the shadow of a new day.

"Living in the shadow of someone elses dream, tryin to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me... living in a nightmare a never ending sleep, but now that i am wide awake i can finally see.. dont feel sorry for me...

living in, living in, living in, the shadow,
living in, living in, living in, a NEW DAY!" - Ashlee Simpson

These words seem to be very true on the day of my birthday... literally.

This morning was history as a lunar eclipse occured... in which "An eclipse occurs when Earth passes between the sun and the moon, blocking the sun's light. It's rare because the moon is usually either above or below the plane of Earth's orbit.

Since the Earth is bigger than the moon, the process of the Earth's shadow taking a bigger and bigger "bite" out of the moon, totally eclipsing it before the shadow recedes, lasts about 3 1/2 hours, said Doug Duncan, director of the University of Colorado's Fiske Planetarium. The total eclipse phase, in which the moon has an orange or reddish glow, lasts about 1 1/2 hours." (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/lunar_eclipse;_ylt=Ak2MdnWQUm2ykRdvgxMPsl3q188F).


check out this link : http://sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/LEmono/TLE2007Aug28/image/TLE2007Aug28-CDT.GIF for a picture of the eclipse.

HAHA i feel like im writing a paper.. but it seriously intereseted me... i guess because i never was able to actually sit and gaze at the stars... they are amazing... to say the least. I actually got to see a bunch of the constellations, and the little dipper (more like miniature dipper and gigantic dipper) was my FAV! its so freaking cute. haha.

AND i also got to see an actually FALLING STAR. not to be confused with a SHOOTING STAR. no, this star actually fell... I watched it from point A to B ... fall halfway across the sky thennnnn it SHOT! OMG, i cant believe im so into this. REDICULOUS!

I doubt ill be able to sleep now. I wake up in 2 hours to go skating in lafy. I CANT WAIT!

Birthdayyy Time

So its now 12:11 AM and its my 19th birthday! wonderful, yet nothing really happens when your 19. its just another number. YET, i love it, because its my last year as a "teenager" ahah!

TODAY will be spent with my mother figure skating my little heart out, and at dinner/lunch with her, and probably my grandmother.

Im glad i got to hear from a good friend that went to lsu and i care for dearly on his birthday today with me!

I think michael vicks is crazy but regrets what he did, or is just saying that.. but being so famous and huge as he is to admit that he is immature to everyone is BIG. Its gross but im glad hes taking full responsibility for his actions.

Love. Please come to me. =]

its late at night, and i cant sleep

I finalllyyy got my video uploaded.. since ive been working on it since 7 pm.. and its now 4 am. I CANT SLEEP!

IM READY TO GO SKATE AGAIN. Im posting my video on here.. keep in mind im still a beginner skater, and ive taught myself everything i know (ive had only one lesson!) .. comments are welcome! thanks!

Birthday wishes.

So my birthday is in ... 3 days.. and all i want is one thing. Maybe ill get it maybe i wont. Well see.

So i went figure skating last night, to do some filming... and i got a lot accomplised, but now i dont have a firewire to connect the digital camera to my computer. Lovely. I guess ill be doing that after another session of figure skating tom in lafayette.

The thing i love most about skating.. is freestyle sessions. BUT since those are mostly at 5:00 AM.. i dont normally do very well with getting there and waking up at 2 am.. ha. SO i learned to involve myself with public sessions.. which i find hard to work with but fun at the same time. I LOVEEEEE the music they play, and i often find myself being able to skate more passionatly to the music because i connect better and its who and what i want when i skate. Songs that just make your heart sink into the music and on the ice. ITS AMAZING. i know it probably sounds rediculous but it really is.

'"Stop and stare i think im moving but i go nowhere yeah i know that everyone gets scared but ive become what i cant be. Oh stop and stare you start to wonder why your here not there and youd give anything to get whats fair but fair aint what you really need... oh can you see what i see? '"

Cant wait to skate again. I MISS ITTTT!

ahhh today

Today ... i got yet ANOTHER job... working as a cocktail waitress for church hills a couple nights a week.. so come visit =] ! I also start at the lawyers office not next week but the next ! cant wait ! Today was good.

Sorry for what i forgot to say,
but you know how words get in the way baby, lately.
wasnt strong enough to cut right through, all the red tape between me and you, baby,
time escapes me.

Whats it gonna take to shake these blues,
pushing through thte clouds just to get to YOU
cant hold back the storm thats going through, yeah

I feel a change babe, washing over me
I feel the rains babe coming to set me free,
its a one way track and coming back,
this trains about to leave, i feel a change coming over me.


Never noticed that its kinda strange,
the same story but a different day lately, baby
Gotta get up gotta change the scene,
gotta RIP THIS PAGE FROM THE MAGAZINE!


.. i am obsessed, with this song. officially.

The way you kiss me crazy, baby you're so amazing. I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder.

I guess that I'm just falling deeper into something I've never known. But the way that I'm feeling, makes me realize that it can't be wrong. You're love's like a summer rain, washing my doubts away.

the time has come.

My life as going as well as planned. I got a new job today, i start tom. I will be working for a lawyer now, and that will be full time with other part time jobs after im sure. BUT.. hopefully this works out im totally excited. school is going well.. so far... i mean since all i had to turn in was like introductions of myself. haha. love.ly. im so happy! Now..... relationship.

Only the ones who believe

I held you close to me
Once in a distant dream
Far from the shores of my fear
I sailed an ocean where
All I imagined could happen
And now you are here

It's so hard to touch what is out of our hands
To know and to trust what the heart understands

Only the ones who believe
Ever see what they dream
Ever dream what comes true

Life gives us magic
And life brings us tragedy
Everyone suffers some loss
Still we have faith in it
Childlike hope
There's a reason that outweighs the cost

And gravity throws all these rules in our way
And sometimes the spirit refuses to play

Only the ones who believe
Ever see what they dream
Ever dream what comes true

Oh love,
Turn me around in your arms
And in this dream we share
Let us not miss one kiss

And add my regrets to the tears in the rain
For that's what the color of roses contain



Im so ready to start skating again. I need a serious vacation.

school is cool

School tomorrow! im so excited!!! I miss northwestern =[. I WANNA CHEER AGAIN. oh well must get sleep. 545 skate session in lafy.. joy.

School ... part 2

Okay wow.. this really proves everything really does happen for a reason. NOW my school schedule is EVEN BETTER than the first one .. im so ready so so so ready! yay! i love it!

school

is stressing me out like insane! First off i scheduled my classes months ago.. and yesterday they told me that i missed the purge date to hold my classes when technically that date ends at 5 pm today... so all my wonderful classes are gone. =] ! the joy of freakin BRCC. So instead of going to school two days a week, and having 2 online classes i now am scheduled to go to school 3 days a week taking 4 classes. this is so rediculous. im over it.

But i got over you.

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.


So my birthday is in serious 12 days .. will be 11 in 30 min. I AM SO READY! its going to be AMAZING. Im so getting ready for it, with it, about it. ITS ALL READYYY!

I miss my friend =[. Please come back home.

Im about to be through with work. I ALMOST WENT CRAZYYYY today. wow. im so glad i didnt. I seriosly need to find a new j-o-b... BUT I WILL PROLLY be working the HINDER concert SEPT. 18th! FUN FUN !

Lets see List of things to do :
1. Find Job
2. Make relationship
3. GO OUT
4. WASH MY CAR
5. find another job.
6. Clean my room
7. get money someway or another
8. get ready for school

BLAH BLAH BLAH..

LIFE and all of its amazingness =]

So today my best friend from highschool had her baby boy Austin... and he is absolutly rediculous cute!
This is all 6 pounds and 3 onces of Austin..


Anddd.. today is MY baby's birthday.. shaynee also recognized by the name Shane. ha. (still only 4 punds ha)


LOVE THEM BOTHHH!!

I also come to realize that endings are only new beginnings. Im so ready for this to begin. =]

AS FAR AS JOBS go.. i went to job fair today at the river center on my lunch break and it was really rediculous.. i couldnt really find anything. BLAH!
Thanks all the end.

Lo lo lo lo VE im talking bout loveee haha

Now look at the people
In the streets, in the bars
We are all of us in the gutter
But some of us are looking at the stars
Look round the room
Life is unkind
We fall but we keep gettin up
Over and over and over and over and over and over

Me and you, every night, every day
Well be together always this way
Your eyes are blue like the heavens above
Talk to me darlin with a message of love

Now the reason were here
Every man, every woman
Is to help each other
Stand by each other
When love walks in the room
Everybody stand up
Oh its good, good good
Say I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

Talk to me darlin

Unconditional

Whenever you have something right there in your reach, and cant ever hold it is uncontrolable.
It takes so much to push through whatever is stopping you from grabbing whatever it is you are reaching for, but once you push through you realize it was so worth the wait.
Sometimes you think that you have it all, but you realize that in fact, you had nothing, and theres so much more waiting just down the road.
Take the road and be adventurous for once because for once you may find what you were looking for in the first place without looking.
Now learn to take your own advice, and live. Jump out of character, and be who you are!

Forgiveness.

From the moment i saw you i missed you, i wanted to be with you, needed you, and i let it all slip from us, please forgive me.

This is TO YOU:
I know a place that we can go to
A place where no one knows you
They won't know who we are
I know a place that we can run to
And do those things we want to
They won't know who we are

Let me take you there
I wanna take you there

I know a place that we forgot
A place where we won't get caught in
They won't know who we are (they won't know, won't know)
I know a place where we can hide out
And turn our hearts inside out
They won't know who we are
________________________________________
AND TO the other YOU....: (Because the only way for me to move on is to walk away.)

Lets just STOP drop EVERYTHING, forget each others names, and just WALK AWAY.

turn around and head in different a different directions its like we NEVER knew eachother at all,
we say what we feel then we stop ourselves and just walk away... never looking back LOVING every second of it we WALK AWAY.
THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST NOT TO MENTION THE WORST IDEA THAT I HAVE EVER HAD! IGNORING WHAT WE FELT, OVERLOOKING WHAT WEVE DONE, THROUGH AWKARD SILENCES.. what do you SAY?

we said what we feel then we stop and just walk away... never lookng back loving every second.


So im trying to GET MY LIFE STRAIGHT, and back together. FOR REAL.. this is who i am who i will be, love me or hate me.. For the person that i end up with and hope to start all over again with, i miss you, please forgive my foolishness. Im sorry.

Part

So you come to a time in your life when you realize being alone basically sucks.
Time without someone is dreadful and boring.
From being with someone so long, you dont know how to move on and be with someone new..
nor are you sure if you even want to.
Friends are friends, and they support you through all relationships, but do they accept someone new too?
Will they ?
Change is undeniably in everyones future.
Some peoples change is remarkably different than others, whereas some people never accept change.
Ive accepted it, i just have to reassure myself that others will also.


Sorry for what I forgot to say
But you know how words get in the way baby, lately
Wasn't strong enough to cut right through
All the red tape between me and you, baby
Time escapes me

What's it going to take to shake these blues?
Pushing through the clouds just to get to you.
Can't hold back the storm that's blowing through, yeah

I feel a change, babe, washing over me
I feel the rains, babe, coming to set me free
It's a one way track, ain't coming back
This train's about to leave
I feel a change coming over me

Never noticed that it's kinda strange
Same story but a different day lately, oh baby
Gotta get up, gotta get the scene
Gotta rip this page from the magazine

I ain't trying to be difficult, no no
I ain't trying to be mean
I just gotta do right now
What's best for me.


=/.

Life =]

I bought a new amazing computer which im currently using.. .it is AMAZING.. apple macbook ! Im in love and it was made for me ! haha.

I have been at work all day, im finally on break and im ready to go home so bad! Moving out was pretty awesome, but I miss dog so much! I cant wait to hold her again! My love!

Take me there.

So .. job hunting is going well. I had an interview today that i think may work out for me. =] That makes me extremely happy !

School starts in like 13 days, which sucks basically, but im ready for it.

I moved out .. still in plaquemine, but out for now. Hopefully whenver i find a better paying job i can move to Baton Rouge.

I love chris daughtrys new song over it . It amazes me. I think im getting where i wanna go, and im finding myself. Im almost completely thoroughly investegated hahah so now i just have to get myself and my life to accept that.

Maybe ill start filming. who knows. I have no idea where my life is leading me, and i dont wanna know.. just take me there.

ARtisTRY

Makeup= ARTISTRY= Fashion.
I love it.
- I had makeup school today in nola.. and it was amazing. I absolutly loved the girl who was instructing us on the new applications, it was such a helpful learning experience... and who cant like being the the nicest hotel of the city?! haha.

School starts in less than 19 days.. and im SO READY. I move out no later than saturday.. where ... well um. hahah.

certain situations between a certain triangle in my life right now is bugging the hell out of me and i really wish it would all end, but im ready to get down to the bottom of it and be done with it.

my life is putting itself back together piece by piece.. =] and im so excited and ready for it.


EVEN though i have completely no idea what im doing, its so EXCITING and Enthralling... its like.. not knowing where your going but when you get there its the best place in the world. I dont wanna know where any of this is supposed to lead me to, i just wanna be led there and love it. =]

People amaze me. The End. =]