Wow

its been a while. I have been really busy. Work has been steady, skating has been just about a daily thing. I had to start working out and weight lifting for that. But its fun. Im actually really addicted to it now. This week all sorts of projects were due for school, but i got those out of the way and done.. next week from mon-thurs. are finals. That should be interesting.

Christmas is right around the corner, and i have yet to get presents. I have no idea what to get. Seriously. I went shopping and cant really find anything that i love ya know?

I actually get rather bored at work. Hence why im doing this. =/. Ha . Maybe one day ill try to right something meaningful again.. theres just nothing really right now for me to write on.

My grandma is doing betterr for the time being, still not fully recovered but shes looking a lot better now a days. Thanks for the prayers! =]!

My love life= still inexistence. Im up for a date if anyones open! =]!

okay so

you know what i realized.. this is what im tryin to write about "having a lonely heart that you had to put all back together after hurting for so long that you just had to throw away memories and feelings of whatever was hurting you, so therefore you would be healed and can regain a trusting relationship with a significant other".. and i cant figure out how to begin. because basically im still trying to figure myself out and how to put myself back together. I mean, im completely over this person, and people whom have hurt me, but i dont know how to let go of the pain that they caused me.. and i think thats why i tend to be more on the shy end when it comes to a relationship because im scared to let someone back in, no matter how much i want it.. because god knows i need a relationship to start back up, im tired of being single! ya know? but its just like... blah! everytime i find someone, i just kinda shut myself off, because i am so scared to get hurt. seriously. that sucks. basically.

anyway on a good note... softball scrimiage was tonight, it was lovely! softball fall tourney this weekend, against like 5 teams or something! i am so excited... the only thing that frees all those feelings, softball! its like my home, my life, my love!

i think i get off at 10 am tom! yayyyyyyy!

its been a while

since the last post. i used to do this everyday, now i dont have time. =[. bla. but my life has gone from great to okay... and i guess with all greatness comes some downfall.

Well... my dream for a job has always been to be a part of films, i mean thats what im going to school for... and i have been working on some films around the area, and getting in with people in the crew, and just trying to get my life started, along with having ANOTHER full time job with the lawyer office, and going to school full time... i mean my life is hectic.

So i get offered the chance to be Assistant PA (Production Assitant) which i mean is a really good thing.. not only for one movie but for two... so im very excited because FINALLY something is happening with all this, and my life is just starting to pull in...
Go home from work to tel my parents and they shot me down, like saying go fuck yourself ... basically. What happened was, I told them and they told me first ya know how moms are "i dont know if thats a good idea" (AFTER SO MUCH OF THIS HARD WORK FOR THE PAST 3 YEARS KNOWING THAT THIS IS ALL I WANT TO DO, THE ONLY JOB I HAVE ACTUALLY BEEN LIKE THIS IS IT.. THIS IS ME) "i dont know if thats a good idea" .. so i said i dont know why i ask you some things because this has been my dream and i cant be scared to do it, because if i dont do it, ill always regret never giving myself the chance .. so my dad cuts in and says he doesnt think i should do it, and they both agree that if i do do it, i have to take all my bills with me... inlcuding EVERYTHING... health insurance (Which is the main reason i went back to school, so i would have it), car insurance, car note (which i already have), cell phone bill, and im sure thousands of other things i dont know about. I MEAN THATS BULL .. like..

everytime i try to do something good with my life they always put this huge obstacle in the way, and i know people say you always have to overcome that, but NOT BY YOUR PARENTS, they are supposed to support you not throw shit on you that you cant possibly handle... i mean thats ALOT of money for me every month, and theres no way that i could possibly handle that. Ya know?

It just makes me so mad, seriously. So basically i didnt get to go be a PA, because of my parents. what else?
I just wanna pack up and go .. just do it, because i cant be scared, and i cant worry about anyone else because its NOT THEIR LIFE, its mine, and if this is what i want i cant be scared because no one gets anything just siitng around i have to do it, and love it.

whatever.

worse day ofmy life.

i just wanna cry. just let it poor. i might take a drive. my life. blah. i just wanna move to new york. somewhere NO ONE else wants to go. start over. again. LEAVE.

your just as pretty withOUT makeup

haha. seriously. I WOULD KNOW!
ANYWAY
wow i dont even know where to start.
My life.. hmm.. complicated... yet, i love it!
I get this feeling like... i want you i need you, butttttttt i cant have you.
and even though im not AS BUSY anymore im still busy as hell.
BUT im actually like going out on weekends now! Ive actually been enjoying my life so much more! ITS REDICULOUS!
Ice skating ring in baton rouge reopened last night for the winter season. IM SO EXCITED! the ice basically sucked last night it was so thing, but whatever its still I.C.E!
I want to go to new orleans sometimes soon, and just have fun and party with everyone! We neeeeeed to do something! I love love love love love my friends! TO DEATH! GAAAAA!
This is how i feel right now. I have all this stuff on my mind but its all just like abstract paintings just everywhere, and i cant exactly put it all together to make a picture yet... maybe ill figure it out and become something soon, but if not, i mean, everything happens for a reason, and its all good!

Sarah Shahi

Sarah Shahi... is on life... playing a cop.. and OMG im so happy shes back! Thats alllllll i have to say! Shes so wonderful! I Envy her beauty! I can not believe shes on LIFE... even though thats not where she belongs, whatever, ILL TAKE IT! hahah! anyway... this show is KINDA good! I love it already!

I bought a guitar. Yes, an acoustic REAL guitar. I can't wait to start PLAYING and writing for real. I need to put these thoughts to use.

The graphics in this show are somewhat unrealistic, or not well thought out... like this car scene, you can so tell that Sarah isnt driving... although in the show she is. Terrible. Disappointing. K. Im over it.

Maybe by watching this show i can learn more about criminals so i can learn more about my job, hahah, yeah right. im over annalyzing now.

ICESKATING FRIDAY!! YAY! LEOS IS OPEN! I DONT HAVE TO DRIVE TO LAYFAYETTE!
speaking of layfayette.... they have weird speed laws going down in october. They are settin up vans (without people in them) all over the parish. These vans will take your photograph, a close up of your license plate, and send you a ticket in the mail for anyone caught going 6 MPH over the speed limit. THAT IS REDICULOUS! and probably the dumbest thing ever! I MEAN SERIOUSLY .. IM STARTING TO HATE ELECTRONICS!

beat boxer.

hahah this is jessica. shes a beat boxer. beginner... but maybe more than beginner, ahhh! shes aawesomeee! check it out. pass it on! lets get her views on this video UP by oct 1! yay!

friends

i love this people they really bring out ME in me... and i love that ! i havent had this much fun in ages seriously. I LOVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE THEM! yay! okay, 5 38 am. bedddd is calling!

fun times.

LSU wins today! Varsity tonight with all my crew! I love it! Funness! Pictures will be necessary.

mmmm. perfect.

Now that it's morning,
Where do you want to go from here?
Well now that we're sober,
Do you think of me more clear?
Woah now, now that your head is right,
Did you dig last night?
It keeps playin in my mind.

Well now that you're home,
Will he be the first thing that you see?
I know you compare us,
How does he match up next to me?

No, now, now that your head is right,
Did you dig last night?
It keeps playin in my mind.

Well I remember layin your head down,
I remember lovin our love sounds.

I gotta thing for you.
An I know the night is crazy,
But I still remember wakin up and kissin your head one more time...
I gotta thing for you.
An I know the night was hazy,
But I still remember wakin up,
An kissin your head one more time.
Ooh yeah now, don't think we're through,
I gotta thing for you...


"Yeah. Tuesday night was fun. I hope the weekend brings as much excitement. OKAY maybe not ASSS MUCH because nothing can pass up hanging out with hinder, buckcherry, papa roach, and REVELATION THEORY... but... it will rock. pretty much. YAY!

Amazing.

So.. i was supposed to work the concert last night, parked ... got lost... the PRODUCER from hinder helped me find my way, haha. GOT to the place iw as supposed to be, and the guy tells me oh we dont need you, you can go home now. FUCKING PISSED. SO ... im going back where i came from about to go back to my car, and the producer decides to give me a backstage VIP pass. AMAZING! Seriously. SO i go in the river center, get front row.. and end up loving every band that played. They are seriously awesome. After the show, i went back to talk to the producer to tell him thanks because i had never been and it was an awesome experience... and he says just hang out, and drink and get to know everyone. SO i end up meeting basically everyone, went drink yager in the bus, and went out to Happys after with most of the guys from revelation theory and got drunk. Didnt go home, went sleep at codis after at about 515 am. Basically had an awesome night.

Nights like last night dont happen very often. And im glad i got to make some memories! =]!

I think ive finally got it.

I looked in the mirror and found you
but i never knew the girl starring me down was screaming tonight
I had everything that i wanted on the outside, but inside something just wasnt right.

Cause Im the girl who loved you for so long,
and I never really had anything,
cause you never gave me a chance,
BUT you.... took my everything.

I cheated myself out of something I already,
knew wasnt perfect..
but if i could hold your hand for just one more night,
everything everything would be alright.

Cause im the girl who loved you for too long,
and i never really gained anything,
cause you never ever gave me a chance,
but you... took my everything.

So im jumping through this image,
just to get a hold of me..
So i dont see myself,
starring down a road of mysery.

Cause Im the girl.
Who loved you.
For so long.
Yeah, im the the girl you never ever gave a chance!
but you, took my everything..
and you gave me.. nothing.


yeah so.. tonights the bad boys of rock concert.. (hinder, paparoach, and buckcherry)....... anddddddddd i have to work it! yay! that meeanss backstage bitches.

I LOVE MY LIFE

AHHHH. my life can get no freakin better. except for still that one thing. seriously.
I have had this best couple weekends of my life and its all because of my BRUSLY friends. haha
SO much fun! Im exhausted, but thats fun right there.
SERIOUSLY amazing. For proof of this. check out my facebook or myspace under tailgating.

Today we went in the boat and i had to jump in with all my clothes on =[. BECAUSE some ass's got me soaking wet from splashing me. =]. Then had some good bbq at lanes house with the sweetest parents in the world. ahahah FUN!

Im not ready to go to work tom, but im ready.. like its so cool having weekends off again. IM IN LOVE! AH! I have a dr's apt. for that problem that i have =[ ... kinda nervous but, whatever, ill live on somemore. haha. its all cool!

anyways. im going study. blah. night!

so weird

So lately ive been trying to think of something to draw .. what i wanted to draw... ya know.. and i just redid my facebook fortune and it said "Your heart is the only place to draw true happiness!" WIERD! because ..... today is national superstition day.

RANDOM FACT! i know! buttttt... if you knew me you would know i do things like that haha! and! Back to the quote... im so not happy lately. I have everything but love. seriously. thats all i need. thats it. I wanna draw and write and scream and cry about it, but i cant because i dont even feel it. BLAH! Listen to your heart. Thats all there is to it. i guess. And. if you have noticed. I can not right in complete sentences, it is rediculous. basically.

I watched... The Vacancy tonight, and it was okay. Not what i expected.... wait... exactly what i expected. i mean they basically told you the whole movie in the previews +++++ (PLUSSSSSSS) the acting was terrible minus the extradinairs of kate beckinsale and luke wilson of course.

I have a biology test tomorrow that i have no idea what it is about, well i know what its about but i dont feel like studying it .. but i have to take it befor 5pm tom. ... so i guess ill just study all morning at work or osmething. whatever. Im going to go to bed.

OH AND my favorite thing that happened in school yet. I got to write a paper for sociology.. cool right? no... but this one was.. we got to pick a song that represented the views on society today... DING DING DING FIRST SONG THAT COMES TO MIND??? WHAT IS IT!!!!!! (come on)..... DUH! its "Dear Mr President" by P.I.N.K! (my choice of course) love her.

PS.- I still think Rachael Yamagata is a musical genius. =]

In Style

so heres the deal. im looking to find this jacket that mandy moore wore in her concert on sunday.. it was a vintage like bronzyyyyy jacket that was midlength. and had pockets.I cant even find pictures from the concert. UGH!

So in due to this I have this song stuck in my head... because we ALL know that whenever i come back from concerts i listen to that person(s) cd(s) for weeks/months/years... you know, till you memorize the whole albums lyrics, note for note. hahaha. Imagine me singing this song driving down the interstate FULLY in tune and acting like MANDY when i sing.. hahahaha. FUNNY!

It's a take-out weekend
It's a fake-out smile and pretend
If nobody sees you cry
You can say it was raining outside

And all that you want
Is a few days down
All that you need
A little time to drown
It's to be expected
With all the weight you carry 'round
All that you want is
A Few Days Down

It's a short vacation
To a foreign nation
Oh, nothing familiar here
Just you and your lonesome heart complaining


I'm looking out
Ten stories high
And like a blanket lifted
The quiet night
The city finally waking up
To the morning light

In Shape.

What is better Bike Riding, or running? Because... heres the deal i wanted to make a deal with myself that i would swear i would stick with ... this is the deal... running twice a week only a mile (AT LEAST).. which i started today, but as i was running i HATED it! So, these 2 men passed me on the road on their bikes just rolling, and laughing and here i am huffing and puffin for breathe trying to pace myself.. 1,2.. .3... 1,2... 3 ( I dont know something they taught me in cross country) well i finished the mile in 6 min. BUT, it was miserable, so miserable, im almost considering not doing it, BUT I HAVE TO! ugh. I WANT A BIKE, to make the story short. THE END! I WANT A BIKE! DAMNIT! (Would i be cool if i rode a bike? ahha)

Work is still going good. I get a bunch of school work and bullshit and more done. I sent in my film to MTV today. =], so im excited about that! Im still waiting on my damn teacher from BRCC to call me back. UGH! I have to study for biology soon.. because my deadline to take my test is friday. ugh. I STILL HAVE YET to start my computer class because my book JUST came in, andddddd I have to buy microsoft 2007 now. BLAH! Sociology, and English are going well, i finish both of my papers.

this is my website for MADE... http://wannabemade.com/my_profile.php VOTE FOR ME !!!! THANKS~

I dont want to hang up the phone yet!!

Wow, how much better can life get? Work is awesome. Im in love with it. I love the people i work with, i love the work i do (because i get to read all the mushy gushy stuff with crimes all day) haha... anddd i get time to do all my school work. Thats love. =]

Football is coming. Im so ready.

I want to have a special moment again... with someone, anyone.. well not anyone, BUT, someone ya know. Those moments when everythings perfect. Thats like the only thing im longing for. Have been for a while now. I feel like writing but I dont know how to begin.. or where to begin. Maybe ill do that tom at work. Seriously, just WRITE... something worthwhile and worth reading. A poem, or my top goal, a song. I hope!

Ive been watching wayyyy too much L word lately... which usually means somethings gone from me.. and i have to find it. I miss Dana, a ton. AND i want relationship like shane and carmen, but not shane and carmen. That makes no sense. I know.

And for all of you who dont know already. Rachel Yamagata is passion. The end.



OKAY and i know thats not showing up... soooo

go to my myspace www.myspace.com/lsutygr06
OR
here
http://i28.photobucket.com/albums/c211/lsutygr06/DSC01599.jpg

Rachael

So last night was the Mandy Moore concert, and even though i was more than excited to see her.. i was suprised by her opening act.. A young lady named Rachael Yamagata BLEW MY MIND AWAY! Rachael helped mandy write a couple songs on her "wild hope" album, and she sings her own... her lyrics are completely amazing. her voice is like the ocean, and she is just adorable. I am so glad i had the oppurtunity to go and see this concert, because i would have never discovered such a wonderful artist.
Heres to a wonderful night!


Tom I start my new wonderful job at the lawyers office. Im so ready. No more dillards. =] That makes me happy.

"everybodys talking how i cant be your love but i want to be your love want to be your love for real."

I need you.

Well, I put so much thought into getting ready
Now I know that was the best part
It's so easy to get caught up in what I'm regretting
Forget what I got from a wounded heart
I'm the one who likes Gardenia
I'm the one who likes to make love on the floor
I don't want to hang up the phone yet
It's been good
Getting to know me more
I've been seeing all my old friends in the city
Walking alone in Central Park
Doing all the things that I've neglected
Traded 'em all in
To be in your arms
Well, I hear my own voice
Sounds so silly
Keep on telling my story all around
Everything I lost seems so different
Well, this is how everybody gets found.


Im so excited and ready for the Mandy Moore concert this weekend Even though her songs are not the besttttt, i still love her and cant wait! some people may think im lame for going see her but, whatever, i love her and always have. we will marry one day. ha. kidding! anyway . bed time children. good night love.

awkwardness

You know how when most relationships start, how you have that "awkwardness" .. how nice is it to not have that ?! I mean seriously.. when you just connect with that person so much .. amazing. thats all.

Blog discoverings

so i was reading a blog today and came across this post..

"In the end it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks about you. People are gonna forget you about 10 minutes after you die anyway. The point is you have to be exactly who and what you want to be. Most everybody's coasting along on phony public relations. People who say being beautiful or rich or thin makes them happy, people who are trying to make their marriages or their children seem better than they actually are. And for what? Appearances. Appearances don't count for diddly. When its all said and done, all that counts is what was true and truly felt and how we treated one another...and that's it.


-- its from a tv show... but i thought it pretty much says my life.. because you have to realzie that ITS WAHT YOU FEEL, not what others feel. and i know this, but i need to get over it. seriously.

School sucks. I hate it. Im so over this already. Im ready to start my new job!!!!


OMG MANDY MOORE AT THE HOUSE OF BLUES IN NEW ORLEANS SEPTEMBER 2nd! we are alreadyy there.

living in the shadow of a new day.

"Living in the shadow of someone elses dream, tryin to find a hand to hold but every touch felt cold to me... living in a nightmare a never ending sleep, but now that i am wide awake i can finally see.. dont feel sorry for me...

living in, living in, living in, the shadow,
living in, living in, living in, a NEW DAY!" - Ashlee Simpson

These words seem to be very true on the day of my birthday... literally.

This morning was history as a lunar eclipse occured... in which "An eclipse occurs when Earth passes between the sun and the moon, blocking the sun's light. It's rare because the moon is usually either above or below the plane of Earth's orbit.

Since the Earth is bigger than the moon, the process of the Earth's shadow taking a bigger and bigger "bite" out of the moon, totally eclipsing it before the shadow recedes, lasts about 3 1/2 hours, said Doug Duncan, director of the University of Colorado's Fiske Planetarium. The total eclipse phase, in which the moon has an orange or reddish glow, lasts about 1 1/2 hours." (http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/lunar_eclipse;_ylt=Ak2MdnWQUm2ykRdvgxMPsl3q188F).


check out this link : http://sunearth.gsfc.nasa.gov/eclipse/LEmono/TLE2007Aug28/image/TLE2007Aug28-CDT.GIF for a picture of the eclipse.

HAHA i feel like im writing a paper.. but it seriously intereseted me... i guess because i never was able to actually sit and gaze at the stars... they are amazing... to say the least. I actually got to see a bunch of the constellations, and the little dipper (more like miniature dipper and gigantic dipper) was my FAV! its so freaking cute. haha.

AND i also got to see an actually FALLING STAR. not to be confused with a SHOOTING STAR. no, this star actually fell... I watched it from point A to B ... fall halfway across the sky thennnnn it SHOT! OMG, i cant believe im so into this. REDICULOUS!

I doubt ill be able to sleep now. I wake up in 2 hours to go skating in lafy. I CANT WAIT!

Birthdayyy Time

So its now 12:11 AM and its my 19th birthday! wonderful, yet nothing really happens when your 19. its just another number. YET, i love it, because its my last year as a "teenager" ahah!

TODAY will be spent with my mother figure skating my little heart out, and at dinner/lunch with her, and probably my grandmother.

Im glad i got to hear from a good friend that went to lsu and i care for dearly on his birthday today with me!

I think michael vicks is crazy but regrets what he did, or is just saying that.. but being so famous and huge as he is to admit that he is immature to everyone is BIG. Its gross but im glad hes taking full responsibility for his actions.

Love. Please come to me. =]

its late at night, and i cant sleep

I finalllyyy got my video uploaded.. since ive been working on it since 7 pm.. and its now 4 am. I CANT SLEEP!

IM READY TO GO SKATE AGAIN. Im posting my video on here.. keep in mind im still a beginner skater, and ive taught myself everything i know (ive had only one lesson!) .. comments are welcome! thanks!

Birthday wishes.

So my birthday is in ... 3 days.. and all i want is one thing. Maybe ill get it maybe i wont. Well see.

So i went figure skating last night, to do some filming... and i got a lot accomplised, but now i dont have a firewire to connect the digital camera to my computer. Lovely. I guess ill be doing that after another session of figure skating tom in lafayette.

The thing i love most about skating.. is freestyle sessions. BUT since those are mostly at 5:00 AM.. i dont normally do very well with getting there and waking up at 2 am.. ha. SO i learned to involve myself with public sessions.. which i find hard to work with but fun at the same time. I LOVEEEEE the music they play, and i often find myself being able to skate more passionatly to the music because i connect better and its who and what i want when i skate. Songs that just make your heart sink into the music and on the ice. ITS AMAZING. i know it probably sounds rediculous but it really is.

'"Stop and stare i think im moving but i go nowhere yeah i know that everyone gets scared but ive become what i cant be. Oh stop and stare you start to wonder why your here not there and youd give anything to get whats fair but fair aint what you really need... oh can you see what i see? '"

Cant wait to skate again. I MISS ITTTT!

ahhh today

Today ... i got yet ANOTHER job... working as a cocktail waitress for church hills a couple nights a week.. so come visit =] ! I also start at the lawyers office not next week but the next ! cant wait ! Today was good.

Sorry for what i forgot to say,
but you know how words get in the way baby, lately.
wasnt strong enough to cut right through, all the red tape between me and you, baby,
time escapes me.

Whats it gonna take to shake these blues,
pushing through thte clouds just to get to YOU
cant hold back the storm thats going through, yeah

I feel a change babe, washing over me
I feel the rains babe coming to set me free,
its a one way track and coming back,
this trains about to leave, i feel a change coming over me.


Never noticed that its kinda strange,
the same story but a different day lately, baby
Gotta get up gotta change the scene,
gotta RIP THIS PAGE FROM THE MAGAZINE!


.. i am obsessed, with this song. officially.

The way you kiss me crazy, baby you're so amazing. I think I fell in love with the 8th world wonder.

I guess that I'm just falling deeper into something I've never known. But the way that I'm feeling, makes me realize that it can't be wrong. You're love's like a summer rain, washing my doubts away.

the time has come.

My life as going as well as planned. I got a new job today, i start tom. I will be working for a lawyer now, and that will be full time with other part time jobs after im sure. BUT.. hopefully this works out im totally excited. school is going well.. so far... i mean since all i had to turn in was like introductions of myself. haha. love.ly. im so happy! Now..... relationship.

Only the ones who believe

I held you close to me
Once in a distant dream
Far from the shores of my fear
I sailed an ocean where
All I imagined could happen
And now you are here

It's so hard to touch what is out of our hands
To know and to trust what the heart understands

Only the ones who believe
Ever see what they dream
Ever dream what comes true

Life gives us magic
And life brings us tragedy
Everyone suffers some loss
Still we have faith in it
Childlike hope
There's a reason that outweighs the cost

And gravity throws all these rules in our way
And sometimes the spirit refuses to play

Only the ones who believe
Ever see what they dream
Ever dream what comes true

Oh love,
Turn me around in your arms
And in this dream we share
Let us not miss one kiss

And add my regrets to the tears in the rain
For that's what the color of roses contain



Im so ready to start skating again. I need a serious vacation.

school is cool

School tomorrow! im so excited!!! I miss northwestern =[. I WANNA CHEER AGAIN. oh well must get sleep. 545 skate session in lafy.. joy.

School ... part 2

Okay wow.. this really proves everything really does happen for a reason. NOW my school schedule is EVEN BETTER than the first one .. im so ready so so so ready! yay! i love it!

school

is stressing me out like insane! First off i scheduled my classes months ago.. and yesterday they told me that i missed the purge date to hold my classes when technically that date ends at 5 pm today... so all my wonderful classes are gone. =] ! the joy of freakin BRCC. So instead of going to school two days a week, and having 2 online classes i now am scheduled to go to school 3 days a week taking 4 classes. this is so rediculous. im over it.

But i got over you.

Now that it's all said and done,
I can't believe you were the one
To build me up and tear me down,
Like an old abandoned house.
What you said when you left
Just left me cold and out of breath.
I fell too far, was in way too deep.
Guess I let you get the best of me.

Well, I never saw it coming.
I should've started running
A long, long time ago.
And I never thought I'd doubt you,
I'm better off without you
More than you, more than you know.
I'm slowly getting closure.
I guess it's really over.
I'm finally getting better.
And now I'm picking up the pieces.
I'm spending all of these years
Putting my heart back together.
'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through,
I got over you.

You took a hammer to these walls,
Dragged the memories down the hall,
Packed your bags and walked away.
There was nothing I could say.
And when you slammed the front door shut,
A lot of others opened up,
So did my eyes so I could see
That you never were the best for me.


So my birthday is in serious 12 days .. will be 11 in 30 min. I AM SO READY! its going to be AMAZING. Im so getting ready for it, with it, about it. ITS ALL READYYY!

I miss my friend =[. Please come back home.

Im about to be through with work. I ALMOST WENT CRAZYYYY today. wow. im so glad i didnt. I seriosly need to find a new j-o-b... BUT I WILL PROLLY be working the HINDER concert SEPT. 18th! FUN FUN !

Lets see List of things to do :
1. Find Job
2. Make relationship
3. GO OUT
4. WASH MY CAR
5. find another job.
6. Clean my room
7. get money someway or another
8. get ready for school

BLAH BLAH BLAH..

LIFE and all of its amazingness =]

So today my best friend from highschool had her baby boy Austin... and he is absolutly rediculous cute!
This is all 6 pounds and 3 onces of Austin..


Anddd.. today is MY baby's birthday.. shaynee also recognized by the name Shane. ha. (still only 4 punds ha)


LOVE THEM BOTHHH!!

I also come to realize that endings are only new beginnings. Im so ready for this to begin. =]

AS FAR AS JOBS go.. i went to job fair today at the river center on my lunch break and it was really rediculous.. i couldnt really find anything. BLAH!
Thanks all the end.

Lo lo lo lo VE im talking bout loveee haha

Now look at the people
In the streets, in the bars
We are all of us in the gutter
But some of us are looking at the stars
Look round the room
Life is unkind
We fall but we keep gettin up
Over and over and over and over and over and over

Me and you, every night, every day
Well be together always this way
Your eyes are blue like the heavens above
Talk to me darlin with a message of love

Now the reason were here
Every man, every woman
Is to help each other
Stand by each other
When love walks in the room
Everybody stand up
Oh its good, good good
Say I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you, I love you

Talk to me darlin

Unconditional

Whenever you have something right there in your reach, and cant ever hold it is uncontrolable.
It takes so much to push through whatever is stopping you from grabbing whatever it is you are reaching for, but once you push through you realize it was so worth the wait.
Sometimes you think that you have it all, but you realize that in fact, you had nothing, and theres so much more waiting just down the road.
Take the road and be adventurous for once because for once you may find what you were looking for in the first place without looking.
Now learn to take your own advice, and live. Jump out of character, and be who you are!

Forgiveness.

From the moment i saw you i missed you, i wanted to be with you, needed you, and i let it all slip from us, please forgive me.

This is TO YOU:
I know a place that we can go to
A place where no one knows you
They won't know who we are
I know a place that we can run to
And do those things we want to
They won't know who we are

Let me take you there
I wanna take you there

I know a place that we forgot
A place where we won't get caught in
They won't know who we are (they won't know, won't know)
I know a place where we can hide out
And turn our hearts inside out
They won't know who we are
________________________________________
AND TO the other YOU....: (Because the only way for me to move on is to walk away.)

Lets just STOP drop EVERYTHING, forget each others names, and just WALK AWAY.

turn around and head in different a different directions its like we NEVER knew eachother at all,
we say what we feel then we stop ourselves and just walk away... never looking back LOVING every second of it we WALK AWAY.
THIS IS PROBABLY THE BEST NOT TO MENTION THE WORST IDEA THAT I HAVE EVER HAD! IGNORING WHAT WE FELT, OVERLOOKING WHAT WEVE DONE, THROUGH AWKARD SILENCES.. what do you SAY?

we said what we feel then we stop and just walk away... never lookng back loving every second.


So im trying to GET MY LIFE STRAIGHT, and back together. FOR REAL.. this is who i am who i will be, love me or hate me.. For the person that i end up with and hope to start all over again with, i miss you, please forgive my foolishness. Im sorry.

Part

So you come to a time in your life when you realize being alone basically sucks.
Time without someone is dreadful and boring.
From being with someone so long, you dont know how to move on and be with someone new..
nor are you sure if you even want to.
Friends are friends, and they support you through all relationships, but do they accept someone new too?
Will they ?
Change is undeniably in everyones future.
Some peoples change is remarkably different than others, whereas some people never accept change.
Ive accepted it, i just have to reassure myself that others will also.


Sorry for what I forgot to say
But you know how words get in the way baby, lately
Wasn't strong enough to cut right through
All the red tape between me and you, baby
Time escapes me

What's it going to take to shake these blues?
Pushing through the clouds just to get to you.
Can't hold back the storm that's blowing through, yeah

I feel a change, babe, washing over me
I feel the rains, babe, coming to set me free
It's a one way track, ain't coming back
This train's about to leave
I feel a change coming over me

Never noticed that it's kinda strange
Same story but a different day lately, oh baby
Gotta get up, gotta get the scene
Gotta rip this page from the magazine

I ain't trying to be difficult, no no
I ain't trying to be mean
I just gotta do right now
What's best for me.


=/.

Life =]

I bought a new amazing computer which im currently using.. .it is AMAZING.. apple macbook ! Im in love and it was made for me ! haha.

I have been at work all day, im finally on break and im ready to go home so bad! Moving out was pretty awesome, but I miss dog so much! I cant wait to hold her again! My love!

Take me there.

So .. job hunting is going well. I had an interview today that i think may work out for me. =] That makes me extremely happy !

School starts in like 13 days, which sucks basically, but im ready for it.

I moved out .. still in plaquemine, but out for now. Hopefully whenver i find a better paying job i can move to Baton Rouge.

I love chris daughtrys new song over it . It amazes me. I think im getting where i wanna go, and im finding myself. Im almost completely thoroughly investegated hahah so now i just have to get myself and my life to accept that.

Maybe ill start filming. who knows. I have no idea where my life is leading me, and i dont wanna know.. just take me there.

ARtisTRY

Makeup= ARTISTRY= Fashion.
I love it.
- I had makeup school today in nola.. and it was amazing. I absolutly loved the girl who was instructing us on the new applications, it was such a helpful learning experience... and who cant like being the the nicest hotel of the city?! haha.

School starts in less than 19 days.. and im SO READY. I move out no later than saturday.. where ... well um. hahah.

certain situations between a certain triangle in my life right now is bugging the hell out of me and i really wish it would all end, but im ready to get down to the bottom of it and be done with it.

my life is putting itself back together piece by piece.. =] and im so excited and ready for it.


EVEN though i have completely no idea what im doing, its so EXCITING and Enthralling... its like.. not knowing where your going but when you get there its the best place in the world. I dont wanna know where any of this is supposed to lead me to, i just wanna be led there and love it. =]

People amaze me. The End. =]

LOST.

IM so FREAKIN LOST. .and freaked out. BLAH.

My song.

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay.. I miss you

I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do
Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok.. I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever I know we were Yeah, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok.. I miss you

I absolutly love it!

And to you.

This is what my face looks like. Imagine it. =} ! Thanks for making me feel like someone cares about me. haha.

ps. love the song. .. what is it?

my life hurts

its like people, friends.. think sometimes that you dont have a fricken care in the world.

im so over all this bull, i just wanna be me and be happy with that.

you really have no idea

I really have no idea.

-Movies with Justin to see Chuch & Larry.. then sleep im sure.

SummerTimee

- So its summer, when your supposed to tan, and get dark everyday ... but it rains ... everday.This sucks.

- My tonsils are getting MUCH better!! =]. Im honestly ready to begin eating again... im just waiting for this pain to go AWAYYY! (i want a big juicy hamburger like CRAZY!)

- I know this is odd for me but i cant wait til school starts im ready to have some responsibility back in my life! Plus i have a pretty easy schedule, which is overly exciting. haha.

- Im ready to start moving out and i cant because of this stupid surgery rules stuff.

- I think ive caught up on my rest. finally. its time to screw that up again... andd stay out/go out!

Last night.. Today

Last night = Was completely the worst night of my life. ... I get home from the movies which was fun (saw License to Wed, so cute!) but... when i got home my throat was basically about to kill me, my ears were pounding, it was terrible. BLAH! Not to mention it was a painful and SLEEPLESS night thanks to my tonsils =]. anyway.. thats all i have to say. good bye.

Today= Pretty good. all i have to say is dont give up on faith, because when you least expect it .. it suprises you.. and today, that happened for me.

Recovering..

So surgery sucked. But i was really excited going into it, not only from the "dont care" medicine, but my nurses name was JACI! how crazy is that! i mean really.. how often does it happen you get a nurse with the same name as you.. esp JACI.. because apparently no one in baton rouge has heard of that name before. BLAH!

RECOVERING= PAIN.
The first 2 days i didnt even want to drink water, basically the only thing going into my body was the pain medicine + antibiotics. disgusting right?
Day 3 was a little better i ate a popsicle.. and drank a half a glass of water.
Day 4 I acttuallyyyyy ate 2 peices of bread, 2 cinnamon rolls, a popsicle, and drank SOME water.
Day 5.. i still have yet to eat or drink. BLAH. thats bad when in 5 days you can actually count everything youve eatin.
I have to meet again with my doctor on tuesday morning. I still cant talk because my tounge is like confused and doesnt know how to move because for some odd reason its still numb.
I have lost almost 10 pounds already.. AH! thats REDICULOUS!
Honestly. i just want to start eating normal food, talking NORMALY, doing normal things.. haha. its dumb.

SO... the highlight of my week wasssss CODI ! So she had call backs Friday the 13th, and she made the squad! I love it! yay! CONGRATS!

For now, thats all i have to say, im going to get back to watching my movies, and sleeping. Wonderful.

Surgery

So Surgery is in like... 8 and a half hours.. cant drink after 12. .. eating was over at 9. EW! im so freaking nervous.

So last night sucked. I hate issues. I hate drama. BLAH! i might not be on here for a while because im going to be out and i duno.. maybe i will be because ill be bored out of my mind not being about to do crap.

Whatever i expect visits... because i cant go out for like 2 weeks. And we are having movie weeks. yay! lots of ice-cream! love love love! tata!

Cant Sleep..

so as of now, i have surgery TOM (wed) .. and im freaking out. im such a baby. blah. i hate being put to sleep without it being natural though, hahahaa. i mean passing out is better than that. Whatever. So relationships come and go.. and all i ask is for friendships to remain. Dont let go of that. i needa drive, but im tired. i wanna talk but i cant . i keep so much to myself because i dont want things to get harder. blah blah blah .. this is my theme for this situation.

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanke
tBut Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry

Marla

UPDATE YOUR BLOG. the end.

Im trying to find the words to say to you,
Im trying to feel the things you want me to.
But the words wont come out, and the feelings are blown away..
maybe the wind will show us the way.

The skys are so clear, but the moment you look away they turn dark..
you try to avoid the rain, but the rain pours and drowns the spark.
You try to conceal the damage, but the damage wont leave...
everything we had and everything we knew behind, so for now we must perceive.

Percieve the thoughts, of what we have and make love happen again.
Maybe the timing was never right, even though we thought it could've been.
The skys will clear, and the sun will shine through,
and then will be the time to start over with a clear view.


BLAHHHHH!!! my life. then end.
Surgery - 1 day left to go. 26 hours left til i cant eat for like a week! wonderful!
Ali- where is she? I miss her! blah!
I washed my car today and its shiny, i pretty much love it!

I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cried
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie
Is made up on your side
When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?

When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it okay I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do Reminds me of you
And the clothes you left
They lie on the floor
And they smell just like you
I love the things that you do

When you walk away
I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now?
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day
And make it ok I miss you

We were made for each other
Out here forever I know we were Yeah, yeah
And all I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I do I give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me
Yeah When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear will always get me through the day
And make it ok.. I miss you

So... Im making it out alright. I have been better, but im making it. YAY! =/. Surgery is in 3 days. =[. .. if only i had someone to take care of me blah. ha. Thursday was fun, and interesting. I love MAC. Oh today, i had a wonderful interesting scary ass day... My kitten thats like 6 weeks old almost died... someone in my family decided to put dog flea and tick control on the poor thing, and it started having convulsions for like 3 hours really bad, that i had to like sit there with it, it started foaming at the mouth and its eyes were dialated.. we thought it was gonna die, but then it started coming back around, thank god, its still shaking but its doing MUCH better. so scary. ugh.

Tomorrow is my last day off before i go back to work tuesday and have my tonsils removed wednesday. I HATE IT! ugh! BUT i do get to go see someone tom, which im pretty excited about.. and i GET 2 DAMN WEEKS OFF for surgery.. yyyyyaaaaaaaaassssssssss!

i need to write more seriously. i swear.

life. love. beginnings. endings.

When all else fails, something will to begin.
Change is good. Life is good. Let go, live.
Advice is worth listening to from people that have been or are in the same situation,
all the other bull ... forget.
Good things come when you least expect them. stop searching. let it come to you.
Let your heart heal, let your mind at ease, stop the tears.....
life goes on, when all else has ended.
At the end of every road, there is a beginning.
You have to forget your heart, leave it at the end.

because if you dont, you will never know what you had.
But then again, you cant lose something that you never had, right?
"You cant make someone love you, all you can do is be someone who can BE loved.. the rest is up to the other person to realize your worth."
Big girls dont cry.


Da Da Da Da
The smell of your skin lingers on me now
Your probably on your flight back to your home town
I need some shelter of my own protection baby
To be with myself instead of calamityPeace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But Ive got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry

The path that I'm walking
I must go
I must take the baby steps until I'm full grown
Fairytales don't always have a happy ending, do they
And I foresee the dark ahead if I stay

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to with you
It's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Like the little school mate in the school yard
We'll play jacks and uno cards
Ill be your best friend and you'll be mine
Valentine
Yes you can hold my hand if u want to
Cause I want to hold yours too
Well be playmates and lovers and share our secret worlds
But its time for me to go home
Its getting late, dark outside
I need to be with myself instead of calamityPeace, Serenity

I hope you know, I hope you know
That this has nothing to do with youIt's personal, Myself and I
We've got some straightenin' out to do
And I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket
But I've got to get a move on with my life
Its time to be a big girl now
And big girls don't cry
Don't cry Don't cry Don't cry La Da Da Da Da Da


LOVE IT ! ... thatll be all for now. Splash tonight with my doll megan! YAY!

when not-so-perfect, really was perfect.

When you realize that not-SO-perfect really was perfect...What do you do?
Get over it, and move on, or wait for it to come back around?
Would there ever be a chance again, or is it all just a memory?
When goodbye was never there to start with, was it ever really over.. or did it ever begin?
Do you give your heart to someone else, or let it mend for a while alone?
Is it wrong to date other people if your still not over someone else? .. (yessss)
Do you do it? (probably)
Should you feel like an ass about it? (probably)
All about love. Love, is so confusing and dramatic.
Really.

Me.. im trying to find myself again. I have surgery in a week, that in pretty much dreading but in the same sense im SO EXCITED for (because i get like 2 weeks off of work.. fucking right!) And hopefully i can get some thinking, cleaning, moving, drawing, tanning, car washing, photos, school.. done, and catch up on my life. HOPEFULLY i will get another job soon. hopefully.

Die hard, was amazing, as i thought it would be. Bruce willis is amazing. The end. Cant wait till tom night, movie night yay!

Today, for the fourth was fun, i got to spend time with family and friends of the family, that i never really get to see, so that was always a good thing. I got somewhat of a little tan =]. and that makes me VERY happy, because i feel like i should be tanning everyday instead of working, like most normal 19 year olds. ha. but whatever, at least i make money, right?

whatever. im going to bed, good night for now!

life.

bull.
drama.
crap.
drama.
school.
drama.
work.
drama.
friends.
drama.
family.
drama.
love.
drama.
okay... get it? i have way too much. im moving. thats all that can be resolved, and im sure theres still going to be some sort of drama in my life. why cant i get AROUND it, when im not even looking for it!! whatever. Good night.

3 months and im still breathing

Wow, okay so last night ... sucked. the end. I felt like crap to put it slightly, andddddd i shouldnt have gone. ugh.

on a higher note, i was watching some videos today, and i think i fell in love at the smile. Thats what it was... please stop smiling, ill get over you. =/. Im so ready for this weekend, its rediculous. Its on. For sure. ha.

Work, sucked again today, buttttt whatever. I need to find furniture ASAP. I need to find another job .. asap, i think itll be weird working somewhere else, because ive been at Lancome so long, but i want just like a second part time job, because i need freakin money, im broke like REDICULOUSLY, right now, ive been spendingggg wayyyyyyyyyyyy too much money. I cant handle this.

Anyway,

Its the way you smile,
Its the way you look at me
Its the way you talk to me
The way you treated me
the way that i cant get over you.
Please leave my head alone,
i need to walk away,
you seemed to have moved on,
yet im sure you just settled in.
Its okay, ill be fine.
I just need to learn to say good bye.

What you do to me.

Ah so today i bought the new Mandy Moore cd, which is by the way, simply irresistable. I LOVE IT, so say the least. Yet, i was kinda upset when i went to wal-mart firstly because i hate going there, and secondly because i went to buy the new Kelly Clarkson cd, and it wasnt in the store on the way home, so now im about ot go out of my way to get it at the store here in town. blah. I CANT WAIT THOUGH, it seems to be awesome. I love the song sober on there. pretty much amazing.

Today sucked. I sold= nothing. basically. I had a doctors appointment for my eyes, only to find out that i was still extremely dry and it was causing my contacts to not stick to my eye. uhg. i did have a nice conversation with someone while i was there though, kinda cheered me up rather good! =] . CODI is going to try out again July 13th, which im VERY SUPER excited for her. (Good luck!) yay. she makes me proud! =]!

Looks like ill be a bar junkie again tom. yay. Find the joy in me. Im just ready for this weekend to come along so i can have some funnnn, and TAN! ha. hopefully. I JUST got a new swimsuit in the mail today from Pac Sun, its adorable. I love it. This Blog is seriously the most random ever, but . . love it, or hate it, i really dont fucking care. HA! okay.. thats all for now. peace.

the world will never ever be the same, and your to blame

In a good way.

Ps. Im going to try to start blogging more reguraly .. although i NEVER have time. Ill try to make it, and stop complaining about not making it ha. Me and a girl from work came up with the no complaining policy, because we have WWAYYY too much to complain about at work, and im so over dillards. ANYONE HIRING? I need a job, asap. haha kidding, but really.. Oh and the whole moving out thing is looking prettty good.

Ive been sick for like a week now, my tonsils are huge, and disgusting, and my glands are swollen, and it sucks.. so i have to get them lasered out of my throat on July 11th. GREAT, huh?
Hopefully, ill be going to thib this weekend to have some fun with someone down there, and of course all my great friends that go to school there, or maybe we can make that trip vice versa? who knows.

PS. NO ELECTRICITY SUCKS. we were out for like 2 hours today, and it was NOT fun. okay, the end. i need sleep. good night !

Listen to my voice it's my disguise

So .. i recently discovered this song, and its pretty much amazing. i love it.

Hey there Delilah What's it like in New York City?
I'm a thousand miles away
But girl tonight you look so pretty
Yes you do Times Square can't shine as bright as you
I swear it's true
Hey there Delilah
Don't you worry about the distance
I'm right there if you get lonely
Give this song another listen
Close your eyes
Listen to my voice it's my disguise I'm by your side

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah
I know times are getting hard
But just believe me girl
Someday I'll pay the bills with this guitar
We'll have it good
We'll have the life we knew we would
My word is good
Hey there Delilah
I've got so much left to say
If every simple song I wrote to you
Would take your breath away
I'd write it all
Even more in love with me you'd fal
Wed have it all

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far
But they've got planes and trains and cars
I'd walk to you if I had no other way
Our friends would all make fun of us
and we'll just laugh along because we know
That none of them have felt this way
Delilah
I can promise you
That by the time we get through
The world will never ever be the same
And you're to blame
Hey there Delilah
You be good and don't you miss me
Two more years and you'll be done with school
And I'll be making history like I do
You know it's all because of you
We can do whatever we want to
Hey there Delilah here's to you
This ones for you

Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
Oh it's what you do to me
What you do to me.

.... I LOVE IT, its so me. Its what everyone longs for, that perfectness. I want to be this to someone, and someone be this to me. I long for perfect, yet its so far, and hard to reach. Distance seperates perfectness. Distance in mind, thought, physical, and mental..

I think ive found what im looking for, in life.. If not im seriously OVER looking, and im not doing it anymore. IF it wants me it will find me. My voice, smile, and laughter will be my disguise. Thats all. Good night.

Tennessee

Tennessee better take World Series back to the SEC. Thats all. The End.

just know.

just know i miss you a lot. =/

WORK SUCKSSSSSSSSS! there is so much FN drama at the counter, im over it. ITS RIDICULOUS! but i love hillary!!!!!!!!!!!! shes like my new best friend "baby of the counter" ahahha, im not the only one anymoreeeeeee! yay! that makes me happy!

ONE LESS REASON & Joan RED ROCK my LIFE! they completely are more than amazing, and i cant wait to get pictures from it . i have a couple but not tooooo many. but they are even more amazing in person, haha. good good hearts.

I CANT WAIT TILL IM OFF FRIDAY SATURDAY SUNDAY AND MONDAY!!!!! im going to have so much fun, and REST! you just dont even know. TIKI TUBING SATURdAY, for anyone who wants to join in .

oh ... one more thing i might be living in baton rouge, MAYBE, im really thinking about it... theres a house off of highland that this guy is looking for a room mate and its really nice... so maybe, just maybe.

thats all for now. ttfn! hahaha =]

Summer Time

SO summer is finally here, and where am i .. working. ugh! it sucks!

The LSU softball game is tom night at 630 and i absolutly can NOT WAIT! They have to win 2-3 games with Arizona state. Which az is farely good... ranked number 9 in the country i believe, we are number 3.. so a little advantage there, but that means nothing.. i just hope they BRING IT tom and sat night!

love. oh man.. what is there to say about it. Its confusing, fun, hopefully, upsetting, mystic, sensual, physical, emotional, should i go on? Number 1 its confusing. it always seems to be that you cant be with the person you want to be with because of this or that.. and i hate it. i feel like i could write a story with my life, and all the damn experiences i have had. but i wont. Then again, i guess if it were easy, we would all know our soul mates from birth. gosh i duno.

My family life, has ONCE AGAIN, gone freaking crazy and out of control. its pretty much ridiculous, to put it slightly. I havent been skating in forever, i need to try to get out to lafy.

Im ready for something to happen with me, like something big, and awesome. I dont know what, i have a couple things i hope for, but only time will tell if they come true!

As for now, ill be sporting my LSUness tomorrow and tanning with codi hopefully. Geaux Tigers!

American Idol.

Wow.. so the show is amazing tonight. Not only is my favorite woman talk show host, the host of american idol.. but they have ha some AMAZING performances. and all performances that i have been talking about lately. Carrie Underwood.. ill stand by you... (thats for ali, because i want her to know that ill stand by her through everything.. i know your going through a hard time, but your an awesome girl and i know you can pull through this girly! And i cant wait to hear from you! ) Rascal Flatts, My wish.. marla, haha... our song that relates so much to us. How crazy.

So TOM (myspace tom) is also on american idol. haha hes a crazy kid.. but how awesome. i mean.... really.. think about it, that is amazing that such a huge tv show to america would do such a great thing for america and the WORLD! If only all of us could give back everyday, or even once a month, how amazing would our world be? Who cares if you dont know what they are doing with the money that you donate, or whatever.... doing a good deed makes your life better, your heart better. You cant love without giving love. This is Love. TRUE love. and i think it is the most amazing. you ask why? i ask why not? Believing is the key part to any life. You have to believe to recieve anything. Without belief there is nothing. I mean... 5 million dollars just by calling and voting for the most watched tv show. By calling 370 times you helped raise $185 dollars. AMAZING !

It is so sad, how depressing some parts of the world is. Tonights show really showed everything in the world, and how much people need help. So much help that they cant even reach out for it anymore. WE need to step up and reach to them, and show them we care, make their lives as good as we can help. One of the most depressing moments of the show, simon helped this 28 year old lady with aids to the hospital, which whom in fact died 2 days later. There are so many projects all around africa giving back to those people, whom in fact help those poor people to live their lives, and raise their children everyday... our donations go to these profits and help them do what they do everyday. HOW AMAZING? really.

Josh groban, is completely amazing.. beautiful voice. He sung one of my favorite songs, and a song that i would love to figure skate to, You raise me up. It is also my Grandmothers favorite song. Everytime i think of it i think of her. I love my family so much ! =]

Okay Kelly Clarkson= AMAZING! I just am waiting for pink. im sure ill have more to update on this amazing show tom. I still think it would be better if gina were still there. o well.

Touching is PASSION.

First off : Sickness' completely suck.

Okay... So i have decided that love isnt love if you havent been able to completely grasp it in your hands. Am i right? seems like everytime i find it, its there, perfect, but not fully mine. I am no longer on a search for it, if it wants me, itll find me. As for people in my past, i hope i can keep them in the past, and not be a now and present or future thing. I know i said i was waiting, BUT, i cant wait forever. forever is a long time, and i have to live now. And im tired of being hurt, so im going to try to leave it behind... as best as i can.

How about a movie tonight? likeee land of women, or something else? Disturbia was a very good movie, which i highly suggest everyyyyyone to go see.

PS. my bestest best best friend in the WHOLE ENTIRE WORLD, is trying out for LSU, and she deserves to be happy.. so pray for her =] !

oh and.. did i mention i came up with.. a very unique quote last night.. haha 'touching is passion' .. ya like that huh?

and i would just like to add im not dyslexic! i happen to not taste the stand of beer ha. I LOVE YOU GUYS !

enough. the end.

Night time drama.

Okay, well i figured id update just a bit. Today i had to take off of work AGAIN because, once again, I'm sick. Go Figure, ey? And right when i don't need to be sick, i am. ugh. So me and a friend of mine were talking over relationships, and my issues tonight.. and he told me something that i pretty much wanted to make a quote out of ... so here it goes...

"if Ur tired of waiting but haven't given up hope....your not tired enough"
So point being to this is ... you always have hope even when your tired of waiting. Never lose hope on anything because no matter how long you wait your gonna have that slight chance that it could possibly be an opportunity opening for you.

I swear i could talk to this guy for hours and get so many good quotes from him, hes like a computer spitting out information at me.. its rather cool. Good friend, and guy, even though he can be crazy at times lol. (no offense if you read this =/)

So other opportunities could be opening right now. Hopefully i can and will move somewhere sometimes soon. Ive been giving Tx or Ca a lot of thought, for different reasons, but of course i will miss all of my friends back home, so i probably wont pull through with it.. depending.. idk.

So i missed the LSU softball game tonight, because i was sick .. as usual. They had a game against southern that we won by a killing. BUT i did get to watch my friend who plays for Loyola against southern, in a REALLY good game that they lost by a point =[. AND my best friend is trying out for LSU cheerleading on Friday and Saturday, which we will be celebrating on Thursday, with her.. and i wish her the best of luck, because honestly she deserves it more than anyone i know. (I LOVE YOU CO!)

As for me, im so tired, going listen to Elka and KC's new pod cast, then off to bed, to REST!

PS. eventually these blogs will be more intellectual rather than me just writing. =] Night!

The Beginning

So i figured since im sick, i should not be bored... so i resorted to start a blog. I guess to get things off of my mind mostly.

Today:
FIRSTLY, i realllyyy want to go see the movie Disturbia, with Shia Lebouf, it looks pretty much amazing.
SECONDLY, i need to discuss a situation that i have going on with someone, but nothings ever promising.
THIRDLY, I really wish i werent sick with this sinus infection because i am MORE than tired of being sick, and i have to get better before practice tom for skating... and the party afterwards =]

So tom is also the last day for leos figure skating, until next fall =[ im a little disappointed about that. But i still have lafayette, a 2 hour drive to figure skate. =/. I did get a new combination jump going on . 1/2 waltz + single flip! its pretty cool.

Work is pretty stressful right now, considering we are in Gift with Purchase, the counter is CRAZY busy.. and its just crazy.

Love life... still sucks. I always think that i have found someone with potential, and I dont. Im giving up on love and loves givin up on me ! =] haha. No but really, i quit, im letting love find me. Hopefully one day....

anyway, thats enough for now. maybe later. Have fun! God Bless!