Teeth sinking into heart

So tonight, I have a lot on my mind.
So many people have come into my life and mean so much to me! I always wonder WHY they are put there, and what there purposes are. Some of these people I fall in love with and out of love. But I think they are put there to teach us meaning. Give us hope for whats next.. Become lifelong friends, or maybe just a moment of time that you can look back on when your older and say WOW, that was an amazing part of my life. I hope that everyone I meet, I can continue to stay in touch with. I dont ever want to say, I wish I wouldve stayed in touch with that person- because I WANT TO! I have met so many awesome people with bands, and actors/actresses.. ENTERTAINMENT in general.. and every one of those people have given me something extraordinary something that people wish to get but never recieve. Something that so many people yearn for, I got! And I am so thankful!

With that being said. My night has been oddly well. I got 2 messages on facebook from 2 people that I adore. One being older than me and one being younger than me. The older person has only been in my life for about 2 years? I think... give or take a little. And everytime we talk we can always get into a deep meaningful conversation. I can always turn to her to listen to me, and i hope she knows she can count on me :). It really helps to have someone to talk to, when you think there is no one anymore. My grandma used to be my SOUL of guidance. Everything that I needed I would go to her for. When i was lonely she gave me love, when I was hungry.. food, desperate for money .. money, haha, and when I was depressed she would always give me advice.. not having her to talk to anymore about things is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with. Its really hard to see her in the situation she is in. I sometimes go to visit her and she won't even know who I am. Her sickness has her so confused, and its just not her! My mawmaw .. gosh.. my mawmaw is such a beautiful loving soul.. I wish her all the strength and goodness in the world.
The second person I spoke with tonight is a couple years younger than me, but I have known her since she was a baby.. She has always looked up to me and that makes me feel incredible. Sometimes I don't feel like I am someone to be looked up upon, but when I have little spurts of reimbursment of people telling me how much they wish they had a dream. and courage and want to be like me... It just makes me feel like everything I am doing is right. So many people try to knock me down and tell me Im too old for this and that or another.. but its because EVERYONE gives up on their dreams once they get out of highschool... everyone starts families and gets married.. but i really have no intent to do that right now. I want to travel, I want to see whats out there. and to do that I can't have an attatchment keeping me stuck. Im not saying relationships are bad, but its just not what is meant for me at this point of my life.

When you stop dreaming is when life stops.

Thats all.